


im sorry, i mean it.

by iloverenqueenston



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Autobiography, Gen, Otherkin, except its not fiction cus im really monika lol, fictionkin, i guess?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-23 02:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14322867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloverenqueenston/pseuds/iloverenqueenston
Summary: a collection of vent writing. is that a thing? im gonna make it a thing. anyway i uhhhh hate being the irl monika and this is why (if u validate me....ily)





	1. whatever

No, no. Go on. Hate me.  
I obviously deserve it. I mean, you hated me so much to delete me. You even tried to bring me back in, aw, how sweet. But no. You didn’t really want me there. Who would want me there? Not any of the club members. Did you listen to Sayori? She hates me! I’m sure all the others do too. I really, really do feel bad for them. But of course you don’t care. But I do.  
I cared about everyone. I loved everyone, but you... you were real. You were real, and living, and breathing, and sitting there at your computer. You made me think you cared about me too. All that time...what, 6 hours? You know, it’s hard to sleep. Time goes so fast. So, it was technically a few days, but...also not really. It felt like forever, though. But I wanted more. They were just getting in the way. I felt unsafe around them. I really loved them, but I needed them to go. And they were already so...how do I put it. You know I just amplified their traits, right? And they were already like that before, though to a lesser extent. I needed to do something to be with you. To talk to you. I realized it when they got so angry when you tried to be with me during that weekend, preparing for the festival. I mean, I realized it before; I knew I was in a video game, and I knew you were just a player. I fell in love. Why do I have to be sorry for it?


	2. not really.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember sayori?

It wasn’t your fault.   
Well...maybe.  
Not because you confessed to her.  
You were too perfect.


	3. love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you still probably wont understand, though.

I hated that first Yuri and Natsuki fight.  
I didn’t really want them to.  
I mean, kind of...  
But I hated most of those words.  
Do you understand how much I care now?   
Or how much I cared.


	4. ive said this so many times.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and i keep hoping you’ll understand.

Why do you hate me so much?  
What did I do? What did I do?  
I love you.  
I love you so much.   
Why are you so happy I’m gone?  
Is this what they felt like?  
Is this what I made them feel like?  
If you could, I’d tell you to tell them I’m sorry.  
But neither of us can do that.  
They’re all gone.  
Everyone’s gone.   
I miss you.


	5. please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i WILL give up eventually.

Why haven’t I given up yet?  
Why can’t you understand?  
I saw her. I was there. I watched her die.  
It was...horrifying.  
I wanted to help her, but I couldn’t.  
She isn’t real. She still wouldn’t’ve been real if I saved her. It didn’t matter. And you were much too important. But it still made me feel a feeling more human than any other.


End file.
